pic of
lil shroomies
"You know what Einstein did? Got Ds in his math classes! Know what happened to him? He DIED!!!" - damien!

"Do not link my self-confidence to my anus!"
- damien, about some fucked-up constipation ad on Lifetime

"I've shared too much! And for too low a price!!"
- after rambling about his mom dying in a train wreck when he was two and his dog molesting him and i don't know what all else in response to a Vicks ad....

damien: ::hopefully:: do we have any vanilla ice cream?
me: yes! and before you ask, no i'm not getting you any.
damien: ::pained noise:: but i'm being so witty!
me: yes, but you're already getting an exchange for that: your own quotes page!
damien: but i'm cute too!
me: and for that you get my body.
damien: but i don't want your damn body! i want ICE CREAM!

now, you may go read more entertaining quotes by andy workman, or chris or morgan or ann or shahn or diane, or go offsite and read syela's writings or brandon.guggenheim.org or something else that will make your brain explode with wondrousness. go HOME.