pic of
lil shroomies

welcome to her sphere:
twin peaks, yin-yangs, satire, pooh
we are all somehow going to 'cole's world,
one way or another, to die.

Heidi, as quoted in cola's .plan: I had a dream last night that Antionio Banderas was in love with me and we ran away to the Italian countryside and lived in this fabulous villa there and grew grapes.
Me, later: Why is that grape/villa quote funny?
Cola: i can just see her dream. it'd be like one of those i can't believe it's not butter ads only with antonio instead of fabio. they had been parted from their love because of the cholesterol but now that they have a chemically laden fatty spread to put on their toast, they can be swept away by emotion and go to their villa where they grow grapes b/c wine reduces the risk of heart disease.

cola: ::talking about the french ppl who want to give her a web internship in France::
me: ::putting chapstick on, dropping it, trying to cap it, dropping it again, flinging chapstick components around room uncontrollably::
cola: my GOD! now i see why the french don't want you!

Wed Aug 5 08:11 -- cola is thinking that art is a meat by product.

"Watch my desk. It'll do tricks!"

"I'm completely devoid of nutritional value!"

cola says, "functional breakup. that's like... giant shrimp. or... free love. no, wait."

cola: you can feel the power of robin by getting messages like "i'm sorry, but i'd rather shave a ferret" or somthing. and you can have entire sermo ns about the great robin energy that is produced when her fingers touch a keyboard. being found in a reed basket gets you big hero myth point too. back in the day it worked as well as virgin births

"You have to work on trusting people enough to share your feelings with them. i can do many amazing things, but that is not one of them."

[On instant messenger conversations with significant others] "You really can't expect any kind of caring support from a string of letters. It's true. the internet is no place for human interaction. i mean, how do you know these people are real? how do you know that they're not just a bot? that's what makes the internet great!"

Cola likes her white people depressed and her blk ppl happy
--Nicole Wilkins on music

scrawllins: ithink the adults upstairs are talking about how gay i am
Sasha131: is that like a "yo mama so fat" conversation?
--Nicole Wilkins

scrawllins: i miss ebay
Sasha131: ::patpat:: you'll be back in cube land in no time
scrawllins: why do i miss cubeland??
Sasha131: um. it reminds you of the womb?

scrawllins: they're going to teach me to write string quartets
scrawllins: then i'll be full of useful skills
Sasha131: it's a useful skill
Sasha131: you never know when you're going to have to..lull your captors to sleep with an orginal composition. and then sneak out of the castle to run to saftey.

Sasha131: hm. did i tell you that ratty is my manager now?
scrawllins: no. that must be odd?
Sasha131: only kinda
Sasha131: in that "hey, i've seen you do a naked pole dance and now you're my superior" sort of way

Sasha131: [blank] isn't a real person anyway
scrawllins: LOL
scrawllins: how's that?
Sasha131: i dunno. i jsut decided that a while back
Sasha131: i sound like i hate her. heh.
scrawllins: what is she then? a collection of bones with red hair?
Sasha131: she is a conspiracy of cartographers
Sasha131: much like england

scrawllins: hostess cakes do not exist in france
Sasha131: clearly the french lack the civilization needed to produce snacks with a half life

Sasha131: off topic - my coworkers have taken to calling another cp employee "that bitch"
Sasha131: without any other name. and they keep saying things like "look at that bitch over there. breathing. i hate him"
scrawllins: is it one particular employee?
Sasha131: yes
Sasha131: he's an ass. he used to be a project manager. now he's in qa. and everyone hates him
Sasha131: it's just so funny that his name is "that bitch"
scrawllins: yeah, that is highly amusing.i enjoyed the part about breathing
Sasha131: yes. and they say stuff like "i bet his heart is pumping blood right now"

Sasha131: i am like some little sority chick that people pay to get fucked up so they can sleep with her. only no one is sleeping with me. heh. --Nicole Wilkins on freeloading

Sasha131: they don't have sarcasm in france?
Sasha131: no wonder the internet isn't as important there.

"Speaking of euphemisms for pussy..."

"Well, I went to the ball, and I didn't /feel/ gay..." --Cola, while coming out as queer

A Sonnet
As I lay gazing at my astropop,
Dreaming of its faux fruity flavorness,
I thought, "I love you so, I just can't stop
Remembering that night in Inverness.
I looked past frozen matzah in the fridge
And lo, your orange glow beamed out at me;
I took you and I ate you on the ridge;
And since that night, my soul's no longer free."
I woke then from my dream, and there you were;
I threw your plastic garment to the floor.
Your scent was sweeter than the sweetest myrrh;
The taste of you will make me beg for more.
And now I ask myself, "What is the use?
You'll simply make me snarf astropop juice."
--Sophie, Nana, Cola, cat, Xi, Slosh, and Andra.

"Why are people so resistant to learning new things? You keep actin' like that, you'll never get any." --Cola in a conversation previously having nothing to do with Sophie gettin' any, but rather, with her learning to play Frogjuice.

Nana: "Sophie, you, like, live in a fantasy world, where hostess cupcakes--"
Cola: "-- fall from a cupboard and onto the floor."

"Because I am no longer in school, I am willing to party every day of the week." --Cola, very seriously, with her hands folded in front of her

Cola says, "the db is a slut."

"Never drink martinis more than crawling distance from yer bed."

cola: slide whistles are jsut fiments of your imagination
sophie: oh no!
[...]
cola: yeah. "slide whistle" actually means "you're insane" in chad

cola: i started watcing political commentary shows again this weekend. i feel like i'm getting back to my roots.
cola: either that or like i jsut fell off the wagon.
cola: do they have support groups for ppl who can't stop watching talking head shows?

"heheh. now i can be all 'look! i'm funny! i have a page of me being funny!' only i won't b/c that would be pathetic."

"ack, cola's .plan has /never/ been so funny. i should regularly wake up in the middle of the night and finger people, just so i can get a laugh." -tiffany

now, you may go read even more entertaining quotes, by damien and shahn and diane and morgan and andy workman and chris, or go offsite and read syela's writings or brandon.guggenheim.org or something else that will make your brain explode with wondrousness. go HOME.