INTERPRETATION OF THE DELPHAN ORACLE;
A PARODY OF CHEAP FORTUNE-TELLERS  EVERYWHERE!
written by absinthe and duck?, March 1994
 
CAST OF CHARACTERS:
THE ORACLE-- It's a lot like a fortune cookie, in that it is supposed to
tell your future, is quite obscure, and was probably translated to the
English from Japanese through Tibetan by someone who has lived in France
for the past 20 years but still only speaks an obscure sort of Norwegian
dialect. 
TEREISIAS-- The blind seer sent by Creon, Oedipus' brother-in-law, who
himself was sent by Oedipus to find out the late King Laius' murderer. 
 
 Oracle: Look deep into my eyes. The eyes are the wellspring of the soul.
Ahhhh, I see something, something growing nearer. It is. . . a face. A
face spinning across the vortex of space and time to join us now, here. .
. A faaaace from your paaast. . .This is your life, Tereisias-- Oh sorry,
wrong century-- 
The face has a message for you. Oh, but it is faading, faaaading,
faaaaaaaaaaadiiiiiiiiiiiiiing awaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy... disappearing into
greyness. . . It cries its message out for you desperately, Tereisias. It
says. . . it says. . . Deposit another fifty cents, please. No checks.
Visa and Mastercard accepted. 
Aaaaah. Much better. I feel the psychic forces beginning to regather. 
Oh, yes, the face. It is the face of-- well, it doesn't matter whose face
it is. The point is, it's a face, and it wants to tell you something. . .
Who were you asking for again? Oh yeah, Oedipus. Charming fellow, that.
Send him my best. Ahem. He haaaaaas a messsage for Oedipus. Heeeeere is
the message, Tereisias. Guaaaaard it weeeeelllllll, it may one day prove
to be the salvation of a civilization. The messsaaaaage isss: ELVIS LIVES,
TEREISIAS.  EEEEEELLLLLVVVVVIIIIIISSSSSS LLLLLIIIIIIVVVVVVVEEEEEEESSSSSSS.
. . 
(ORACLE fades out.)
TEREISIAS-- Oh geeze, now I'll just have to make some whole mysterious
story up for that blasted Oedipus- again!! This does it, I quit!!! They
can just face their  futures by themselves from now on. Maybe it'll build
character. . . (Exit TEREISIAS, UR, still grumbling. Fade to black.)