I understand now about overstimulation. You know, when people grab screaming flailing children off the floor and announce that they're just overstimulated, I NEVER understood what that meant. How could lots of excitement make them feel upset or *bad*? But now I totally get it.

There's just been so much fucking *input* in my life lately, and it's all confusion and craziness. Suddenly school is about to start, I have to do an evaluation before check-in and I'm working full-time, I don't know my whole schedule yet so it's hard to know when I'll be working, I haven't told Critical Path I'm leaving yet and I'd like to stay, offsite, but there's still a lot of learning I'd have to do to help with branding, and then there's the other job, which REALLY stressed me out over the weekend because he crossed such a *line* with the micromanaging, but it's okay now, and then there was the car and the bills and the senior project still looming....

School and work sounds kinda fun now, but getting ahold of it from that angle was a *little* rocky. So, aie. And then there's the fact that I just went to Rite-Aid to drop off my T* prescription. They didn't ask me anything besides address and phone and birthdate, so that was kinda cool. Then I went to the tiny, startling-vegetarian-organic-and-Asian-foods section in a vague confused fit of vague confusion and bought:

So I've been feeling numb and bruised, mildly flensed, lately, even with the many intense joys of a new car, a sweet new girlfriend, and HORMONES!!!

When I bought this journal, I also got the "It's a Boy!" and "It's a Girl!" stamps, gold and green inks, and ultrafine glitter; I'm going to send a birth announcement to everyone I might run ino and have to explain to. This should take some wordking :-) But I think my essential joy will override or at least temper the weirdness for those who love me. Hm. Well, at least I have some practice at demanding positive coming-out experiences. Yeah. :)

Anyway. I think I will go hide in bed in my pajamas and read nice warm safe things and eat happy snacks till I stop feeling shocky about life because it's been triggering mild depression and I get to work late enough as it is. (what wolf eating my intestines? *I* don't see any wolf....)

The first day of school....