Subject: Re: [tgts-youth] ok like there is this problem.
On Wed, 27 Oct 1999 Atrendygrl wrote:
>>> OK well you see I have a slight problem... I am so confused as to my
sexuality.... I like have a wonderful boy friend ... but like well
pretty ... but I could do a relationship with another girl ... no
just like a threesome or something. I mean well I can/don't want to
another girl for a relationship ... just sex if asked you know?
Maybe I am
::grin:: so what are you confused about? sounds like you know what you're
into pretty well. are you just trying to figure out what name to call it?
if so, i would call that bisexuality. i see "bisexual" as an umbrella
term, sort of like "transgender" is - like a woefully undescriptive term
that lets people see sort of where you are so they can ask you more
specific questions if they actually care about the details.
i know a lot lot lot of people who don't see it that way though, i think
because "gay" and "lesbian" and "het" are fairly specific terms and we're
used to thinking that there must be a specific descriptive word for
whatever our sexuality is. like, my boi says he's not bisexual because he
thinks it implies liking "both girls and boys" and he likes just about
everything except bio-boyz. (although he was kinda into my theory that
BIsexual literally means you like TWO "sexes" so since he likes way more
than two even without liking bio-boyz, he can say he's bi-sexual)
um. i tend to rant/ramble about this stuff. partly cause it's something
i've been working out for myself lately and partly because i feel like the
queer community is so centered around identity and claiming your sexuality
and being proud of it and political about it, yet there's virtually no
time or space made for exploring non-binary sexuality or discussing stuff
in terms of "yeah, i mostly date boys but i would be into girls but pretty
much only in a threesome sort of way" instead of "i am a
i'm tempted to get sarcastic in that self-entertaining way i do sometimes
and be all "yeah, you are nuts! what are you doing thinking that you can
actually like different genders in different ways?! or in different
situations in your life? hell no! you abide by the rules, missy! you like
boys and girls exactly the same or you're not bisexual! you like only boys
for everything or you're not straight! blah blah blah! don't make us send
the sexuality police after you!" hey look, i did get sarcastic. oops :-)
that's me rambling. enjoy!