Date: Wed, 27 Oct 1999 20:40:35 -0700 (PDT)
From: Aidan Nuccitelli
To: tgts-youth@lists.queer.org.au
Subject: Re: [tgts-youth] ok like there is this problem.

On Wed, 27 Oct 1999 Atrendygrl wrote:

>>> OK well you see I have a slight problem... I am so confused as to my sexuality.... I like have a wonderful boy friend ... but like well girls are pretty ... but I could do a relationship with another girl ... no dating, just like a threesome or something. I mean well I can/don't want to be with another girl for a relationship ... just sex if asked you know? Maybe I am just nuts.<<<

::grin:: so what are you confused about? sounds like you know what you're into pretty well. are you just trying to figure out what name to call it? if so, i would call that bisexuality. i see "bisexual" as an umbrella term, sort of like "transgender" is - like a woefully undescriptive term that lets people see sort of where you are so they can ask you more specific questions if they actually care about the details.

i know a lot lot lot of people who don't see it that way though, i think because "gay" and "lesbian" and "het" are fairly specific terms and we're used to thinking that there must be a specific descriptive word for whatever our sexuality is. like, my boi says he's not bisexual because he thinks it implies liking "both girls and boys" and he likes just about everything except bio-boyz. (although he was kinda into my theory that BIsexual literally means you like TWO "sexes" so since he likes way more than two even without liking bio-boyz, he can say he's bi-sexual)

um. i tend to rant/ramble about this stuff. partly cause it's something i've been working out for myself lately and partly because i feel like the queer community is so centered around identity and claiming your sexuality and being proud of it and political about it, yet there's virtually no time or space made for exploring non-binary sexuality or discussing stuff in terms of "yeah, i mostly date boys but i would be into girls but pretty much only in a threesome sort of way" instead of "i am a lesbian/bisexual/het/whatever."

i'm tempted to get sarcastic in that self-entertaining way i do sometimes and be all "yeah, you are nuts! what are you doing thinking that you can actually like different genders in different ways?! or in different situations in your life? hell no! you abide by the rules, missy! you like boys and girls exactly the same or you're not bisexual! you like only boys for everything or you're not straight! blah blah blah! don't make us send the sexuality police after you!" hey look, i did get sarcastic. oops :-)

that's me rambling. enjoy!

here's a neat letter about bisexuality and feminism.

back to the bi page and/or email me.