A feminist rant for Mother's Day 1995. Yes, it was all true.


Mother's Day Doggerel
 
Cooking, washing, cleaning, teaching
Pushing, nailing, fixing, reaching,
Feed the bunny
Clean the cage
Defrost dinner and marinade
Run errands, turn off TV,
Run first aid on a skinned knee. 
 
It's already four o'clock!
Pick up Child #2 from doc
Sprint through bank
Run downtown
Drop him off for trumpet now
Come home, find out the rice is burnt...
Well, we'll fall back on dessert. 
 
Mother's Day rolls round again,
I'm squeezing more work from my pen. 
Dana's birthday,
he's the king, 
So all day he's off golfing. 
Meanwhile, Mommy does laundry,
buys bagels, hits the nursery,
 
Fixes lunch, washes more sheets,
Scrubs the bathroom clean and neat
Runs to work
Copies tapes
Lugs deck back home when it breaks
Prints out grades and gardens fast, 
Between a thousand harder tasks.
 
Today, the media's all maudlin,
Motherhood makes quite a din,
Commercial worship,
Hallmarkę filled, 
Alleviate your life-long guilt:
Women's Lib failed to save her,
Giving birth means eighteen years' hard labor.