__scruffy_: We are a smallish system, with maybe 40 people of whom us clueless fronters know maybe 20 well - but we also know there are tons of people we don't know, many of whom don't even come out. We have at least ten people who share the bulk of the outside life, who are extremely co-conscious. The more different someone is from those fronters, the more they are able to take over the body, shove people back or make them lose outside time entirely.
__Pink__: It can be a real pain to be co-conscious to this extent though. Cause you never know who you are.
Adam: Half the time Matt knows when someone is there before we do.
Danica: It's kind of weird, between trying not to "act multiple" in front of friends, and then worrying that they won't believe that we're really multiple - depending on the particular hangups of who's out.
Todd: Watching. Gay men. On tv. And being totally separated from that
community, that culture, those men by EVERYTHING from this body to
our past history....
___: what I think is funny is hearing other people say things. Like,
sitting there watching TV and realizing mid-sentence that we're commenting
on something to our roommate.
Lizbeth: i like watching abigail play with connor.
_______: Sometimes we try to answer a question and everyone tries to say something at once and then all start arguing inside about what to say. Long, long pauses when that happens.
Abigail: i like playing with connor
__Pink__: i think a lot of us take a lot of pleasure in watching each other come out, being together that way. Kind of like a family, laughing at the kids' antics and joking each other around.
Adam: well, it's part of what started out as self-esteem and self-love. we love each other a lot. of course some of us have trouble loving ourselves....
_____: MY favorite thing is when I can't remember where I put something or what we were looking for and then someone TELLS me!
_______: of course the flip side of that is when someone moves something and then goes off on their own little jaunt elsewhere and nobody knows where the damn spatula is. Or when only one person remembers that we have to look for our tongue ring and they keep forgetting to during the few minutes they're out.
________: it confuses me that anyone would not automatically know what it's like to have lengthy conversations going on in one's head. it just all seems so NORMAL to me. especially since people write about arguing with themselves so often,. Of course maybe those authors are multiple too. Or don't even know it.
Rose: I was going to say something about being Christian and hving to defend that to all the radical friends we have (who are at least shocked, often, although also often supprotive) but then I realized I'd have that problem even if I had the body to myself. It is kind of weird to be co-conscious with big Goddess-worshipping Pagans, though. Like, I don't normally want to buy a big shiny pentacle. It all comes of being midcontinuum on top of part of a multiple system. I think.
Precisegirl: Exploring these things can also get really tiring sometimes. All the questions about how memory works and who I am and what we were just saying...!
Dani: yes, because we're co-conscious enough that it's very easy to confuse "my memory" with "the more or less continuous memory of most outside events that we all have access to."
______: well damn. you're fucking exactly right.
Adam: Right, so if someone comes out they might remember that "I'm Dani and I have lots of the nrrrd skills and am dating Matt and so on," or they might just be totally in the moment, doing dishes or whatever instead of thinking about who they are as a person, and they wouldn't be able to think back over their own personal memories - if they have any they can access - to go "oh obviously I'm Dani because the Dani info is all I have."
Precisegirl: The kids have their own memories of stuff they do beyond the body. So does Catriona.
Rose: it's still funny. we may not even know we're out until we notice our own behavior change, or notice someone noticing it. p> Precisegirl: I think that comes from drifting too close to the front. You start half-watching what's going on out here and before you know it you're chatting with Cola while you watch TV together and you have no idea what's going on till someone fills you in a moment later.
___Pink__: and are totally cut off from wherever you were inside
Dani: clueless fronter syndrome!
Precisegirl: The really funny part is that none of us can remember anything we've written here thus far. We have no concept of the overall flavor or content of this piece at all.